I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
