I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
