Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
