Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
