why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
