I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
