Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize