I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
