what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize