come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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