To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I don't deserve a penis
They took my balls.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
