do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
