i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
