3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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