Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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