We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
How does it feel to date your dad?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
