I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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