I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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