There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
