my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
