don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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