You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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