:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
