you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
