while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
