Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
