there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
this beer tastes like vomit already
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
