What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
me + whiskey = a bad person
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
