I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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