I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
