Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
