I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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