Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
