I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
