i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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