guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
