Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
