at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
