The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
