So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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