honey bunches of taint.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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