And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize