literally had 100 drinks last night.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
