I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
