Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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