im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
