I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
