Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
