For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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