Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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