You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
