butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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