Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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