fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My vagina is officially offended.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
