I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
