I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
