Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I supernannyed him into submission
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
