you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
