garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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